didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
