Who wears a wallet chain?!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
