the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
