have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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