Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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