there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
