THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
