Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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