Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
