I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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