my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
