I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
