I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
