I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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