she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
