we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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