you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
