I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i dont even know how to be here
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
