I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
