do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
