Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
