Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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