i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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