I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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