i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
