Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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