You're my little dorito
My friends, they love my intelligence
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
