left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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