So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
