he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
