if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
