He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
