bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
