You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Non-Jews are for practice
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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