did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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