you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
