just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
