woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
