in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
