So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is Oprah even human
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
