Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
