can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
