I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your penis caused this!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
