I think I just saw someone hide a body.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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