Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize