cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
