fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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