did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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