sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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