yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
