Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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