Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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