So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
