I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
