We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
