yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
