That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
