oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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