Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
