oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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