remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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