If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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