I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
