ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
