hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
