he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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