Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
