The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
