So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
