youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
