is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.