my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.