We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party