Is it because I queefed?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative