i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
