girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...