Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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